Episode 155: Living Authentically - The Upside of Missing Out

Are you desperately trying to keep up with everyone else, saying 'yes' to everything out of fear that you'll miss out on something? What if you could flip that 'Fear Of Missing Out' (FOMO) on its head? Here, we explore a potent antidote – the 'Joy Of Missing Out' (JOMO). We untangle the heavy burden of guilt, judgment and comparison often associated with FOMO, and reveal how we can replace those negative emotions with a celebration of individuality and self-love through JOMO. This episode is not just a chat; it's a heart-to-heart conversation about real-life topics such as personal development, money, and parenting that will not only entertain but also empower you.

We, your hosts April and Lisa, share our personal experiences of how embracing JOMO has had a profound impact on our lives and those of our families. From teaching our children about the importance of decision-making and avoiding over-commitment, to understanding when to say 'yes' or 'no', we delve into how JOMO helps us take joy in our unique identities. We also share our insights on how aligning our actions with our personal values has led to a more fulfilling life. So, tune in, relax, and let's discover together the liberating joy of missing out, understand our unique visions of success, and learn how to live within our values.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Paradigm you podcast.

Speaker 2: 0:04

You're listening to the Paradigm you podcast. On today's episode we have a short but powerful episode that packs a punch. If you've ever felt the FOMO fear of missing out, you want to listen to this episode because we take that concept and flip it on its head. Enjoy.

Speaker 3: 0:22

You're listening to the Paradigm you podcast. You're about to start transforming your life by growing your mind and expanding your paradigms. Here we'll cover real life topics, just like the stuff you'd share with a good friend. This podcast will serve up topics that weigh on our hearts and keep us up at night, whether it's navigating parenthood and becoming an adult, or wayfinding, personal development, marriage and money. You, my friend, are in the right place. I'm glad you're here.

Speaker 2: 0:45

All right, it is a new week. Happy Wednesday. Welcome to the Paradigm you podcast. My name is April Marluski-Hydzinski and I am here with the incredibly brilliant Lisa Sarnowski. How's it going, lisa?

Speaker 4: 0:58

Hello, I'm great. How are you doing? Brilliant, that's so kind of you, right back at you.

Speaker 2: 1:04

Oh man, you didn't know we were going to be fluffing each other on this episode. Oh, that's all we're going to do back and forth.

Speaker 4: 1:10

How many compliments can I give you?

Speaker 2: 1:14

Well, hey, you know what? This episode is a really exciting topic for me because it's had such a profound impact on my life and, I'm guessing, yours as well. And you know, as I'd say, just people who believe in good karma when we've learned about these things, we want to pass them on to our listeners. So, yeah, welcome to the episode called Jo Mo. Jo Mo, woohoo, lisa loves this. What's Jo Mo?

Speaker 4: 1:41

Joy of missing out, man, when you told me that my whole body seemed to have this humongous, amazing party. Like what? This is a thing I can actually celebrate. Missing out on things, Love it.

Speaker 2: 1:59

Yeah. So I'm sure all of our listeners, I'm sure you've heard of this concept of FOMO, right, we see memes about it, we hear people talking about it I mean you hear it everywhere. You're having FOMO, which is fear of missing out. But the opposite of that could actually be true and if you think about FOMO, it really does have this negative energy associated.

Speaker 4: 2:26

It's so heavy.

Speaker 2: 2:27

It is, there's comparison, there's judgment, there's maybe even some shame or guilt that you're having because you're missing something that you think is something you should be participating in doing, showing up that way. But this concept of Jo Mo is a little bit different. It takes the idea of FOMO and it flips it on its head, and it's actually something that we want to educate you on and invite you to consider applying in your own life. I love it and what have you?

Speaker 4: 3:01

how have you been using it? April?

Speaker 2: 3:04

Thank you for asking. So, jo Mo, I really do feel like it's the joy of missing out. You know, I had a good friend years ago tell me, if it's not a hell, yes, it's a hell, no. And I've applied that in so many ways. But even when I'd asked myself and get cleared to myself, okay, is this something that's important to me? I'd still have those feelings of like, oh man, am I the weird one? Am I like the strange one that doesn't want to participate in XYZ or do XYZ or look a certain way.

Speaker 2: 3:39

But when I started applying the idea of Jomo, the joy of missing out I realized how important it is to love up on yourself and to show yourself the self trust of knowing what's going to serve you best, not anyone else.

Speaker 2: 3:56

And when I started asking myself that it really did allow me to lean into this joy of celebrating who I am and not necessarily living for other people, living for social media posts or any kind of attention, right, yes, it really did start asking me or encouraging me to ask myself okay, what is going to serve me and my family best?

Speaker 2: 4:24

And then how can I just celebrate that, even if it is missing out on things? And we've even started applying this in our home and talking to our kids about it. You know we've talked on episodes previously about parenting and overachievement and over committing, and we really do invite our children and we ask them okay, if you're going to say yes to this, what are we saying no to? And so now when we offer up opportunities to our kids my oldest is great at that she says if I say yes to this, what do I have to say no to? And what we've started doing is we've been role modeling and inviting our children to celebrate saying no to things and recognizing when something doesn't motivate them or light them up and they don't want to participate, just to participate, because then they can show up fully to the things that they're really excited about and celebrate, creating space and opportunity for other people to lean into what they want to do, because if everybody does everything, that doesn't make anybody unique either.

Speaker 4: 5:27

Yeah Well, and it's a good recipe for burning out, right? If our motivation is to just keep up with everybody else, first of all, that's impossible, and so we can intellectualize that and go yes, I know that's impossible, and yet look at that family and what amazing experience they had with their kids, or look at that business and how amazing they did at that particular event or whatever it is, and it's okay to just pause and get mindful and really present. I feel like it's a different way of saying being present and learning how to just live inside your vision of success, inside your values. You know, we took a weekend recently where it was rainy all weekend and we had a lot of different ideas of what we were going to do.

Speaker 4: 6:11

Outside, it's fall over here in Wisconsin, it's beautiful, and so hikes we didn't want to hike in that kind of weather or go kayaking or anything, and so instead of going somewhere and crafting some crazy experience inside a museum or you know these amazing things we have access to living in a city we said what if we just stayed home and baked, thank you. And what if we just cuddled on the couch and, like, had a nice little cup of tea? My kids are tea drinkers. April. It's like it's amazing and that's what we did, and it was just so rewarding to have the joy of their presence and for them to fully experience the joy of ours.

Speaker 2: 6:52

There you go, you're applying it. Joy yes, it really is the joy of missing out, and I think it's all driven by our values. When we have clarity on what's important to us, then we can actually say, yeah, this is a hell yes, or this is a no. I don't want to participate in this. Yeah, because we know we've already established those boundaries, we understand where we're headed in life and what we want to create, and so then it really does make life a little bit easier.

Speaker 4: 7:22

It's so much easier when you feel like you're not missing out on anything, when you can really get in that mindset and I think, with access to so many things, with visual access to so many things, of what's possible with our global world and economy and just how everything really is accessible. For for most it, it's almost challenging to figure out where to cut. You know where it can feel almost stifling to say, well, what if I don't expand my mind and travel over to Europe every year? What if I don't? And it's like just be happy, what if we just focus there? What if we got a pumpkin and we carved it together and just had a great time and a good laugh, right, like it doesn't have to be so hard?

Speaker 4: 8:05

But the achievement culture as well within parenting today and for our kids, I think that equally embeds here is we have this interesting competitive spirit, is being a human, just this desire to do more, always more, more, more, better, better, better. And it's okay to tap into that and say, what if more and better is actually doing less and just doing less better? So that's really when you said, joe mo, I just my whole like. I said my whole body was like I just wanted to have a dance party Like, yes, I just want to do this more, and because of that topic.

Speaker 2: 8:39

We also have decided to keep this episode really short, super short, because one we wanted to introduce this concept in this topic to you. But we also want to respect your time and recognize that you know what we want to carve out additional time for you to just enjoy. Enjoy, joe mo, my friends. Joe mo, go enjoy your day. Go enjoy your day and enjoy, missing out on all of the things that no longer or don't serve you. Amen, yeah, and that note it is closing time. Go and have a great week. Cheers, good karma. There you go. We did it together.

Speaker 1: 9:21

Thank you for listening to this entire podcast. I hope this episode has left you feeling curious and inspired. This podcast is intended to create expansion in your life through unique stories and shared experiences, and if you enjoy today's episode, I have a request. I'd like to ask you to share this podcast with your friends and family. I bet they'd enjoy it just as much as you have. And, if you found value, please share this on your social media outlets. That is good karma in action, my friends. All right, it is now closing time. Cheers to good karma and the power to choose joy. If you like this, tell your friends, stay tuned for the end, because we have outtakes.

Speaker 3: 10:07

And now for the outtakes. And now for the outtakes hold on.

Speaker 2: 10:13

I'm totally using this as outtake. Go for it.

Speaker 4: 10:18

Oh, that was fun. I got tongue tied. Hey, you've been listening.

Speaker 1: 10:24

Test one, two, three four.

Speaker 2: 10:27

Okay, now say hey, welcome to the podcast. Hey, welcome to the podcast. Oh wait, we can do it better. Hold on a second. Okay on the count of three. One, two, three cheers, cheers to good karma. We did it. We have to work on our counting, but, on that note, go out and make it a great day.

Speaker 1: 10:51

You're really great.

Speaker 4: 10:53

Everyone, everyone that's listening to this podcast, even if they don't even hear the rest, even if they only can listen to a part of it because of a screaming baby. You're all really awesome.

Speaker 2: 11:05

Yeah, thanks for listening, bye bye, bye, over and out.

Speaker 1: 11:09

Thanks for listening.